Reading the Torah - I Now Know What its All About!

Simcha Torah has come and gone and I haven't had a chance to reflect on its significance at a personal level.  I have been attending a "Parasha of the Week" class and I had planned marking Simcha Torah with a mini celebration of my own with my class; but with the personal events of my  life leading up to that week and being out of town the following week, it just didn't happen.  But deep within me, I felt satisfaction and accomplishment and that was celebration enough!

This year's Simcha Torah represented my reading the Torah for the first time.  While I may not have  read each parasha completely or with the entire commentary, I read enough that I could at least follow along with the text and the storylines.  I know that I eventually need to read the Torah on a deeper level and certainly, the discussions in our study group do that; but my goal for the first reading was really to  have an understanding of the biblical stories.  I can't tell you have happy I was once I first found out who Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel and Leah all were!  I know it may sound silly to you, but I didn't know the lineage of our Matriarchs and Patriarchs prior to last fall.  My knowledge of the Exodus was limited to "The Ten Commandments" and I had no idea who Noah, Joseph and Joshua were other than basic popular stories that I may have randomly heard.

This was a year for learning and consideration.  Certainly, Genesis was fascinating to read fully for the first time but difficult to accept and reconcile with my scientific background.  It wasn't until later, when I attended a separate class on the origins of Genesis, did I learn that even religious people don't necessarily believe in the early events recorded in Genesis as it is written in the Torah.  While I was frustrated while reading much of the religious instruction in Leviticus and parts of Deuteronomy, I found the storylines within Numbers and Deuteronomy absolutely fascinating.  Toward the end, I kept thinking what a fascinating book it was.  As the drama continued to unfold,  I couldn't wait to go on to the next Parasha.  The end of the Torah was the ultimate culmination beyond imagination.  I think Moses' Poem in Haazinu was one of the most beautiful passages I have ever read.

I attended services for Simcha Torah and shared the excitement with the congregation.  I loved how all generations were together to celebrate.  I had only attended once before when the kids were very young.  Despite the joy I felt, I also felt regret.  I was sorry that I hadn't attended more than once  with my kids while they were growing up. We often used those days off of school to go away or visit family.   Even though my kids went to a Jewish Day School, I realized that day that they do not have the appreciation for the Torah that I am now seeking.  While I thought I was giving them something that I did not have growing up, I realized on that day that I missed the opportunity to do more.  Because I didn't understand the Torah enough to have respect for it, I didn't know to instill that respect in my children.   I may be using the wrong word.  I know both my children respect the Torah and they know many of the teachings, stories and lessons it has provided.  Their education did provide them with the understanding of the Torah that I am just learning.  They certainly had significant exposure to the Torah throughout their ten years of Jewish Day School.  I think what I sensed that day does not have to do with their education but from the lack of instilling the ways of the Torah within our home life.  I didn't know enough about the Torah to bring religion into our home.

I am looking forward to reading the Torah in its entirety for the second time.  This time around because I already know the basic story lines, I will read it with more attention, reflection and consideration.  While I don't always agree with the hypotheses and interpretations that are discussed in our class, I look forward to looking deeper into the text to reveal the meanings I have previously overlooked.  As I am beginning to understand and appreciate our religion more, I think this last statement is what our religion and reading the Torah is all about!