Seeing G-d in Every Sunset is Simply Not Enough Anymore

Faith. 

Faith is defined as believing in G-d.  As children we are either taught to believe in G-d, instinctively believe in G-d or doubt in the existence of G-d.  As adults, faith differs from person to person as well.  As a child growing up witnessing “bad things happen to good people” I was amongst those who had doubt.  As I moved into adulthood, I put the idea of faith aside while I lived my life, witnessing more bad things as we all do, and believing that while G-d may exist, he has no control of individual lives.  I may have felt G-d in the sunset each day, in the beauty of flowers, in the delight of a new puppy and as I studied medicine - the brilliant and delicate way our bodies are designed.  I believed that G-d was responsible for life overall but I think what I was really believing in was Mother Nature.  When things started going downhill for my mother, I again questioned my beliefs.  I wished that I could find faith in the hour of need as more religious people seem to be able to, but I didn’t see how.  My Rabbi helped take me to the first step of believing in the possibility of G-d and so that I wouldn’t have the feeling that I was alone.  Sure, I could believe in the possibility of G-d.

 
I recently took a course at my synagogue on faith.  The ten week class intended to guide us in defining, seeking, and exploring faith in so many ways.  For me, the class brought on more questions than it answered, but it has opened my eyes that seeing G-d in the sunrise and sunset is simply not good enough anymore.  I have come to realize that faith isn’t simply believing (or believing in the possibility) but means to be able to be in a relationship with G-d. 

Relationships can be complicated.  Relationships are difficult as it is with living beings.  There are relationships with those you have known all your life and relationships with those you just meet.   I have always thought of the word relationship in context to another human being.  I had never thought of having a relationship with G-d; but as I think about it, we have relationships with our environments, relationships with every one of life’s situations and even objects that we love!  We wouldn’t we have a relationship with G-d!

All relationships happen on their own time line – some faster than others.  I have no expectations for myself.  I am sure families that are religious ensure their children have a relationship with G-d by establishing religious beliefs early on.  I am sensitive to others who seem to instinctively accept G-d despite all those bad things happening as well as those who actively try to find that relationship.  I recently stumbled upon the blog of a woman whose five year old son was dying and was astounded how her faith kept her positive and how her belief in prayer served her the same in hoping her son would improve, in keeping her strong as he deteriorated, and remaining faithful as she enters her new phase of life without her son.  I was so impressed with her ability to not question her faith.  Conversely, I have a friend who has been studying Torah for years and is so versed in the content as well as multiple interpretations but is unable to feel G-d presence during Shabbat Services despite his efforts.

I have come to understand (at least intellectually) that accepting and honoring the Torah puts us in a relationship with G-d, but of course, I am approaching this cerebrally as an adult and not from habit or from the benefit of growing up with teachings.   As I encounter more people seeking and experiencing this very personal relationship, I continue to be jealous of those with a more religious background and struggle to find my own relationship with G-d.  While in Israel, I didn’t have the spiritual awakening I was hoping I would, but at the time, I knew that was probably not going to just happen.  I now understand that I need to have a more active role in my relationship with G-d to feel spiritual as this relationship would be no different than establishing any other relationship.

I actually had an “Ah-ha” moment a few weeks ago in Services.  While the Haftorah was being recited, I was reading the Torah portion and with the Trope chanting in the background, I was totally engaged in what I was reading.  I have been reading the Torah now for almost two years but this was the first time that I was totally engrossed in what I was reading.  I don’t know if I would say I was connecting to G-d; but I did feel different and had a sense that I was in a more spiritual place even if it was for just that moment.  While I will continue to look to the sunsets to feel G-d’s presence, I know that I need to look beyond Mother Nature to secure my relationship with G-d and to truly establish faith.

The Middle East –Persecution and Exodus - Past and Present - for Jews, Christians and Muslims

My new, albeit much overdue, interest in Israel has led me to the realization that my lack of interest in history of any kind growing up has left me at a tremendous disadvantage.   While barely interested in American History, I had absolutely no interest in World History, Politics or World Religion and certainly no idea how the three are intertwined.  I supposed I was not unlike other premed students; but my lack of knowledge in these areas has presented itself as a huge deficiency in my adult life. 

My study of our history beyond our Bible is still in its early stages, but I know enough to understand the imposed exodus and diaspora that occurred following the destruction of both the First the Second Temples.  I know enough to understand the powerful drive that through our history, we have always had to return to Israel.  I know enough to understand why we claim rights to the land of Israel.  What I recently realized, however, is that I don’t know enough about the history of the other inhabitants of the Middle East.

My Detroit suburb was predominately Jewish but as the years went on, the area became more Chaldean.  I knew little of these new neighbors other than they were from Iraq and seemed to like very large displays of Christianity on their front lawns.  I am embarrassed to admit that it wasn’t until many years later that I learned that they were prosecuted in their homeland because of their religious beliefs and were forced to leave Iraq to pursue religious freedom and took great pride in being able to do so in their new homes.  What I didn’t realize at the time, was that the Jews of suburban Detroit were not much different from their new Arab neighbors, but separated by many generations in their experiences.  Our history of persecution is not unique.  I recently realized that the Jews, Christians and Muslims seem to all be in similar positions over time. 

On our Israel trip, we explored the Golan Heights on a jeep tour and saw the remnants of the Six Day War.  It was easy to imagine what our people went through while I was photographing land mines that may still be active and bunkers that had been destroyed.  But when our driver told us that he took a group close to an area overlooking the Syrian border where they could see, first hand, the gunfire of the Syrian Civil War; I realized that religious persecution existed well beyond our own confines.  It brought to light the present day current events in a way that it never had before.

I pay attention to the world news much more than I did years ago.  I now read The Times of Israel online regularly. While I find the online articles especially helpful with multiple links as references, I find many of the readers’ comments from strong religious supporters of all religions disconcerting.   Often the comments are one sided and hurtful – no matter which side they are supporting.

I am thankful that more headline stories are of personal accounts of world news happenings because it truly makes me understand the issues as being social and cultural - not simply political.  The articles on Muslim families forced to leave the Central African Republic and then ambushed on their way out seems to go hand in hand with that I learned about my ancestors in Poland not so many years ago.  Is their situation any different than our own generations ago? Last week, I read an article on Syrian Christians living in Chicago and openly celebrating Easter for the first time in years and recalled stories of Jews who celebrated holidays and Shabbat in secret.  In fact, a recent Facebook post photo showed Jews from 1943 hiding in Poland secretly baking Matzo for Passover.  Back in high school, I did not understand the significance of my new neighbors being able to display their religion.  Religious freedom is something that I had always taken for granted.

While in Israel, I was struck by the tolerance that seemed to exist in the Old City of Jerusalem and shed new light on the tumultuous relationships that Christians and Muslims share with Jews.    Putting political and religious powers that be aside, I was surprised to see how the Jews, Christians and Muslims who actually lived and prayed in the Old City seemed to do so seamlessly.  It’s my understanding that no one argues that there are sites within the Holy City that are holy to all three religions; but it seems that those that are honoring their individual religion in the Old City are able to do so while respecting, or at least accepting, each of the others. 

As I research the exodus of other religions from ancient times to present, I have a better understanding of the world at large and how political agendas affect religious groups and the rights of individuals.   Yom HaShoah was recently observed and while we will certainly never forget and are committed to making sure others don’t either; my recent education empowers me to understand and continue to learn not only about the persecution of others and the political forces that are involved, but to respect those affected individually.  As I read the article about a Syrian woman who finally was able to leave Syria and secure safe passage to her sister in Chicago, I wished that I had had more sensitivity toward my new neighbors back in Detroit.