Is Honoring Shabbat Enough (at least for now)?

I don't observe Shabbat.  I have enjoyed and am comfortable with lighting the Shabbat Candles and welcoming and honoring Shabbat.  However, I drive on Shabbat, I partake in activities on Saturday, I cook on Saturday, and I do not have Shabbat dinners.  I have however, stopped doing work related activities on Saturday and begun to treat the day different then Sundays.

I find it difficult to be in services when I know I don't observe Shabbat.  I have been going to services, not as an expression of observing Shabbat, but more as a learning experience, at least for right now.  Recently, I began reading the English during services as opposed to focusing on the transliteration.  In several areas of the Siddur, I almost felt ashamed to be in Shul as I read about the gift of Shabbat.  I felt very uneasy knowing the prayers were about the importance of observing Shabbat and knowing that I do not observe.  Although, other sections that were about praising G-d and his gifts to us - life, Torah, and even Shabbat.  I could appreciate those sections and felt good to be apart of what I was reading.

Reading the English has enabled me to take a more active, engaging role during services.  Certainly, reading/chanting the transliteration made me feel engaged and part of the community; but without knowing what I was reading made it difficult to feel actively involved.  Reading the English definitely helped.

So, for now, I will continue with lighting of the candles, going to services when I can and learning about Shabbat.  For now, I can only honor Shabbat in this way and respect the gift that has been given to me and feel apart of the community that I belong to.