I am so excited. My family will be joining our synagogue on a JUF Mission at the end of the year. I had never wanted to go to Israel - I didn't know much about the county, its history and struggle for independence or the biblical history surrounding the land. Now, of course, it's a different story! With everything I have been learning this past year I can hardly wait to set foot on Israeli soil.
When we first decided to go, my kids told me how much I would love it there. They both went with their eight grade classes and know that I will love the country, the people, the food and the excitement. They also know how much I will appreciate the culture, the historical sites and the religious experiences at this point of my life. This is an opportunity that I feel so honored and privileged to be able to partake.
There is so for me to learn! Biblical history, early Israeli history and the previous ruling nations, and the political history leading to the establishment of Israel as a Jewish State; as well as the political structure, the political temperament and the political battles both internally and externally with the Palestinians and surrounding Middle East. My knowledge in all these areas is lacking and I am scrambling to learn as much as I can before we go.
I would have liked to have read the other books of the Tanakh before going, but given the amount of time it would take to internalize all the necessary history, I am instead reading my son's eight grade Jewish History Books. I had taken a class years ago on Jewish History as part of the Melton Adult Education Program. There was so much to comprehend in such little time, without my having any previous background, that it was impossible for me to acquire very much of the facts. Using the books from that class as a resource while studying the 8th grade books seems to be working well for me and at just the right level for me. I will also finish reading the 1968 Israel 20thYear Anniversary United International Press issue that I started reading a few months ago. I am also starting to read any current events in the papers, the editorials from Israeli Newspapers and the IDF Facebook page and website. I have spent many hours already studying maps and reading tour guides. It is very overwhelming for someone with such little knowledge, but I am trying to absorb as much as I can!
I know a major goal will be for me to not only gain knowledge about the land and the history represented there but to gain a respect for Israel and an understanding of present day issues and challenges. Politics never held my interest until the last several years so I am looking forward to understanding the political issues in Israel. But I also hope to gain at least a little of what many people go to Israel for: religion and piety. Most of my adult life has been about logistics, academics, and about concrete ideas in general. I hope that I will be able to go beyond the academics and history during my time in Israel and be able to also have a more visceral experience and leave with a newly found soulfulness and spirituality within myself and for myself.
Before arriving in Israel, we will be spending a few days in Poland, both in Krakow and Warsaw. We are staying in the old Jewish Quarter in Krakow, visiting Auschwitz, spending Shabbat morning in the synagogue in Warsaw with the Chief Rabbi of Poland and taking in as much Judaic history as possible. As a family we will be seeing the movie, "The Book Thief" and going to an exhibit on Nazi propaganda that is here in Chicago before we leave. I am trying to maximize the Jewish cultural, historical and religious experiences in any way that I can.
While I may have limited access to a computer and Wi-Fi during the trip, I will certainly be taking notes for this blog on my impressions, my excitement, my discoveries and my emotions during this trip of a lifetime. I hope you will share my thoughts with me in the upcoming weeks' posts but share my excitement for this trip right now!
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Shabbat Shalom - The Two Words I Couldn't Say Until Recently
Shabbat Shalom.
Its a beautiful greeting, universally understood, and one that brings the warmest wishes you could possibly present to someone prior to or during Shabbat. So why, up until a few months ago, could I not bring myself to say those words?
When someone wished me "Shabbat Shalom" I used to say, "to you as well" or worse yet, "have a nice weekend." I realized that clearly, I was avoiding saying what should have been nothing more than a welcoming, loving gesture to those around me that shared one of the aspects of my life that I valued most of all - Judaism.
So why was it so stressful for me to hear those words, let alone say them myself?
Being Jewish has always been something I have valued dearly - despite the fact that I did not have a religious or educational upbringing in Judaism. I have always had a strong sense of being Jewish, even though I didn't have a clear understanding of what that meant. I understood and celebrated all the major annual holidays but Shabbat, was a concept that was foreign to me. We never had Shabbat dinner, I had only witnessed lighting Shabbat candles a few times (and felt uncomfortable every time) and I often worked on Saturday growing up. Saturday was no different to me than Sunday.
I had never been in an environment where and when it would have been appropriate to say "Shabbat Shalom" until recently.
As I began to take the steps that I decided were necessary to understand and learn about my own religion, I suddenly found myself around people that wished me Shabbat Shalom. I attend a wonderful class on Fridays with my Rabbi that explores the week's Parasha and often relates it to current political and social events of our time and saying "Shabbat Shalom" became something that I heard over and over but was never able to respond comfortably. Even while attending Shabbat Services, I found it difficult. I know why, of course. It was because I had never celebrated Shabbat, had never gone to services and never understood all of what Shabbat entails. I never understood how (and why) people pick and choose how they celebrate Shabbat and how they are able to celebrate it one week and not others. Even as I continue to learn about Shabbat, I have a hard time accepting that some, if not many of the Jewish people I know that have Shabbat dinner, do not honor Shabbat in any other way. I find that very troubling.
While I have been going to services on Saturday mornings on a fairly regular basis, I still do not feel as if I am celebrating Shabbat. I am not sure how to reconcile the fact that we don't light candles Friday night with my going to services. This year was the first time that I read about Shabbat in the Torah. That was a wonderful first step in the educational portion of my journey, but I still do not have the emotional connection that I think would be important.
But I am now comfortable saying Shabbat Shalom. I can't quite get myself to turn to strangers after services to say it, but I am trying. I know how important it is to so many people, certainly those that are in services and I respect (any envy) their commitment to Shabbat. That alone makes it a little easier to say those two simple words.
I know that I am still exploring and learning and I hope that someday I can come to find a meaningful way of observing Shabbat that I feel comfortable with and finding a place in my life for Shabbat. But for right now, at least I have gotten over my insecurity and unease and I am able to express my wishes to others.
Shabbat Shalom.
Its a beautiful greeting, universally understood, and one that brings the warmest wishes you could possibly present to someone prior to or during Shabbat. So why, up until a few months ago, could I not bring myself to say those words?
When someone wished me "Shabbat Shalom" I used to say, "to you as well" or worse yet, "have a nice weekend." I realized that clearly, I was avoiding saying what should have been nothing more than a welcoming, loving gesture to those around me that shared one of the aspects of my life that I valued most of all - Judaism.
So why was it so stressful for me to hear those words, let alone say them myself?
Being Jewish has always been something I have valued dearly - despite the fact that I did not have a religious or educational upbringing in Judaism. I have always had a strong sense of being Jewish, even though I didn't have a clear understanding of what that meant. I understood and celebrated all the major annual holidays but Shabbat, was a concept that was foreign to me. We never had Shabbat dinner, I had only witnessed lighting Shabbat candles a few times (and felt uncomfortable every time) and I often worked on Saturday growing up. Saturday was no different to me than Sunday.
I had never been in an environment where and when it would have been appropriate to say "Shabbat Shalom" until recently.
As I began to take the steps that I decided were necessary to understand and learn about my own religion, I suddenly found myself around people that wished me Shabbat Shalom. I attend a wonderful class on Fridays with my Rabbi that explores the week's Parasha and often relates it to current political and social events of our time and saying "Shabbat Shalom" became something that I heard over and over but was never able to respond comfortably. Even while attending Shabbat Services, I found it difficult. I know why, of course. It was because I had never celebrated Shabbat, had never gone to services and never understood all of what Shabbat entails. I never understood how (and why) people pick and choose how they celebrate Shabbat and how they are able to celebrate it one week and not others. Even as I continue to learn about Shabbat, I have a hard time accepting that some, if not many of the Jewish people I know that have Shabbat dinner, do not honor Shabbat in any other way. I find that very troubling.
While I have been going to services on Saturday mornings on a fairly regular basis, I still do not feel as if I am celebrating Shabbat. I am not sure how to reconcile the fact that we don't light candles Friday night with my going to services. This year was the first time that I read about Shabbat in the Torah. That was a wonderful first step in the educational portion of my journey, but I still do not have the emotional connection that I think would be important.
But I am now comfortable saying Shabbat Shalom. I can't quite get myself to turn to strangers after services to say it, but I am trying. I know how important it is to so many people, certainly those that are in services and I respect (any envy) their commitment to Shabbat. That alone makes it a little easier to say those two simple words.
I know that I am still exploring and learning and I hope that someday I can come to find a meaningful way of observing Shabbat that I feel comfortable with and finding a place in my life for Shabbat. But for right now, at least I have gotten over my insecurity and unease and I am able to express my wishes to others.
Shabbat Shalom.
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